


I Want All of You

by ozuttly



Category: Sengoku Basara
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sexual Content, sort of, unhealthy relationship, yandere!Ieyasu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 05:21:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6182041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozuttly/pseuds/ozuttly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mitsunari is stronger than he is. Ieyasu does not agree with his ideals, but he is always honest and straightforward, and not once does he waver in what he believes in. His loyalty is absolute, and Ieyasu wishes that he had the strength of self to emulate that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want All of You

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr Dialogue Prompt of 'it's ok to cry'. Some of these got fairly big so they're getting their own entries.

Mitsunari is strong, Ieyasu thinks. 

He’s not the most stable of individuals, of course. He exists in order to serve, and for no other purpose. When left to his own devices, he forgets his own mortality, and throws himself whole-heartedly into danger. He hardly remembers to take care of himself without somebody to remind him to, and Ieyasu happily takes up that job.

He has no ambitions or wants of his own, and it makes Ieyasu a bit sad. He wonders what Mitsunari would have been like without the Toyotomi, if he had grown as his own man with his own ideas. It’s a foolish thing to think about, but he does so anyways. Each fantasy he comes up with is different, but all of them fall short of the real thing. They sound like Mitsunari and look like Mitsunari, but there’s something missing no matter what he does. He eventually gives up. 

Mitsunari is steadfast. He is not a schemer nor a tactician, and Ieyasu thinks that he would be a terrible general. He rules those under him with fear instead of confidence, and he keeps his soldiers at a distance. He only has love for Hideyoshi and Hanbei, and Ieyasu can see the way that his face lights up upon seeing those two. 

It pinches, deep in his chest, but he ignores it. 

Mitsunari is stronger than he is. Ieyasu does not agree with his ideals, but he is always honest and straightforward, and not once does he waver in what he believes in. His loyalty is absolute, and Ieyasu wishes that he had the strength of self to emulate that. 

He doesn’t. He knows he doesn’t, as much as he pretends. He always second guesses himself, second guesses what’s best for him and best for the country. He wavers and falters, he falls prey to his own emotions and weaknesses. 

He feels envious of Hideyoshi, for being the one who has all of Mitsunari’s devotion, but he knows that as he is, he doesn’t deserve such a thing. 

He can pretend, though, and he does so amazingly well. And eventually he manages to secure a place in Mitsunari’s heart. He’ll never be able to rule it completely, but for now, this is enough. 

“You’re amazing, Mitsunari,” he murmurs into the other’s skin. Ieyasu is nothing like Hideyoshi, and he makes sure to emphasize it every time that he and Mitsunari are together. His touches are always gentle, his words praising. He wants to treat Mitsunari like the pillar of strength, like the treasure that he is as he slowly works him open while pressing kisses against his throat. 

Mitsunari groans against him, fingernails digging into Ieyasu’s shoulders as he gasps out his name. 

“I love you, you know,” he says, his tone cheerful and lighthearted, but it’s the truth. He emphasizes it as he slowly pushes into Mitsunari’s body, holding him close all the way. He knows that Mitsunari is not made of glass, that he has taken bigger things than Ieyasu’s cock before. But he is not Hideyoshi. He is not going to give Mitsunari a chance to forget that. 

“Such words–!” Mitsunari groans and he leaves bruises on Ieyasu’s biceps with how hard he grabs them. “I don’t need them–!”

It hurts. Ieyasu bites his lip, but he keeps his smile in place and his pace steady. He continues to lavish Mitsunari in praise, and he kisses him softly, over and over again until long after they finish. 

He falls asleep with Mitsunari in his arms, and he feels proud of himself. 

*

Mitsunari doesn’t love him. He knows this, has been aware of it since he started chasing after the other boy. Mitsunari will probably never love him, because Mitsunari is stronger than him, if not in body then in spirit. Mitsunari knows what he wants and what he needs, and he never second guesses. 

Ieyasu second-guesses all the time. He second-guesses every time he tells Mitsunari he loves him, only to get a flushed muttering of dismissal each time. He second-guesses whenever he thinks about his own wishy washy ideals, and the cowardly ways he thinks of fulfilling them. He second-guesses whenever Mitsunari falls asleep in his arms, and he actually allows himself to pretend that it’s enough. 

He can’t be the unwavering pillar that Hideyoshi is. He doesn’t even think he has it in him to try. 

*

“Be rougher, Ieyasu,” Mitsunari finally growls at him one night, as Ieyasu is pressing soft kisses into his collarbone. His stomach lurches at the idea, and he forces a smile onto his face.

“I like being gentle to you, though,” he says, because he can’t say ‘i don’t want to be a replacement for him’. After all, Mitsunari still lets him fuck him, and he still comes each time, so he must not hate it too much. 

He growls, though, frustrated as Ieyasu thrusts into him, and Ieyasu laughs it off as though the conversation never happened. He tries not to think about it, either, when Mitsunari curls up against him that night. He tries, but he doesn’t succeed. 

*

He kills Hideyoshi. 

He says it’s for his ideals, because he doesn’t want to admit that he just wants to be free of his shadow. He wants to release Mitsunari from him, even though Mitsunari wants nothing of the sort. Ieyasu knows this. He knows that Mitsunari will hate him, but really, how is it much different than before? 

*

Mitsunari hates him. He hates him with every fibre of his being, and somehow it’s even more thrilling than the best of the sex that they’d had together. Ieyasu finally has all of his attention, everything he’d wanted, and the rush it gives him is incredible. It’s not the way he wanted, and it still hurts to know that his loveis unreturned, but he’s finally getting something. 

He never wants to give it up. 

*

“I loved you like a brother! I trusted you!” Mitsunari screams at him on the battlefield of Sekigahara, and Ieyasu finds that it both hurts and excites him at the same time. Mitsunari had never loved him, never the way that he needed. And while he hates that he’s hurting, absolutely hates that he had to ruin Mitsunari’s entire world, he loves the attention he’s getting as a result. Breaking Mitsunari’s trust might even be worth it, just to gain his entire focus as a result. 

*

“It’s ok to cry, Mitsunari,” he says as their battle ends and Mitsunari sobs against him. Mitsunari’s ribs are crushed. He can hear it in the way that his breath rattles with every inhale, see it in his caved in breastplate. There are bruises on his arms and legs, wounds that might heal, they might not. Perhaps he has a punctured lung. Ieyasu doesn’t care. 

He’s missing one of his arms. Mitsunari had taken it in a fit of rage, and he’s slowly bleeding out on the ground. Neither of them are in any shape to continue fighting. Perhaps one of them will make it out alive when their armies arrive. Perhaps they’ll both die here, and it will be a fitting end to their era. Either way, Ieyasu is at peace. 

“Are you satisfied?” Mitsunari growls against him, his fingers digging into his flesh. He’s angry, but he can’t stand up any longer, and Ieyasu is pleased just to have his hatred. 

“I never wanted to hurt you,” He answers, but the real answer is yes. Yes he is indeed satisfied with this. He could never be the man that Mitsunari needed him to be, but he had at least gained something in the end. Even if it’s not what he wanted, he is pleased with it.


End file.
